Mesothelioma Help

Living with advanced cancer

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Finding out that you have advanced cancer when you are diagnosed, or that your cancer has come back can be devastating. You probably feel confused and find it difficult to take anything in that is being said to you.

At first, you are likely to experience a whirl of powerful emotions. Anger, fear, and sadness may come one on top of the other, leaving you exhausted. You may think you should be talking all this through with your partner, other family members or close friends. But you may find this impossible to do.

Give yourself time to begin to come to terms with what you have been told. You will benefit from talking to others about how you are feeling. But not necessarily straight away. Some people need to begin to put their own thoughts in order before they can talk to anyone else. Some feel they need to talk straight away. Trying to talk things through helps them sort out their own thoughts and feelings. There is no right or wrong way to handle this.

What does advanced cancer mean?

Having advanced cancer means your cancer cannot be cured. But it very rarely means you are immediately terminally ill. There are treatments available that can slow your cancer down. It may be possible to shrink it and put it into remission for quite a while. You will need to talk very carefully to your own specialist to understand

What the diagnosis means
What treatment is available
How treatment can help you

You are likely to feel very anxious and uncertain about the future. And there will be days when the cancer is the only thing you can think about. But many people say that a diagnosis of advanced cancer helps them appreciate ordinary everyday things much more than they did. You have an opportunity to work out your priorities. Think about what is important to you and what isn't. There may be things you had always wanted to do. Having cancer doesn't mean you have to abandon all your plans. You may have to adapt some and one or two may be less realistic than they were. But you may also feel it is time to get round to something you'd always wanted to do but never made the time for.

Coping with every day life

It is important that you feel as well as you possibly can. If you haven't already been referred, ask your hospital doctor or GP about a Macmillan nurse. Macmillan nurses can help control your cancer symptoms and improve the quality of your life physically. Many have counselling training and can help you work through some of the emotions you are experiencing.

If you are having any physical difficulties in coping at home your Macmillan nurse or a district nurse can talk to you about ways you may cope more easily. They can help you to get simple mobility aids, for example a seat to help you get in and out of the bath. And tell you how to get more permanent adaptations such as safety rails fitted in your bathroom.

Macmillan nurses have information about charitable funds who can provide grants for mobility aids, heating costs, help with holidays and many other household expenses related to your illness or quality of life. They also have information on benefits available to you or to someone helping to care for you.

If you are having problems with breathlessness there is information on coping with this in the living with lung cancer section of CancerHelp UK.

Knowing what to expect can help to alleviate anxiety. Talk to your doctor or nurse about your illness and treatment. It is important that you know all the options.

There are organisations that can provide information about cancer and treatment. Or put you in touch with cancer support groups where you can talk to others who have been through similar experiences to your own.

If you would like to talk to someone outside your own friends and family, look in our help and support section for counselling organisations।

http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk

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